Dating is too difficult
That might mean a breakup after a year or two or three, or it might mean that you’re just not as into your relationship as much as you used to be, or it might just be a slow stalling-out feeling.But whatever the case may be, this kind of thing happens all the time.“All of the distractions available to us now with technology” can wreak havoc on our romantic lives, she says.“When our partner becomes distracted by the TV, internet games or porn, we receive less of their attention and the focus on romance fizzles.” As a result, you might feel as though it’s not worth continuing your relationship. "State your desire for more romance or book a getaway for the two of you,” she suggests.From holding onto your own sense of self to allowing yourself to be open and ask questions, keep these things in mind when the going gets tough in your relationship."Romantic relationships can be difficult to maintain because they possess more intimacy than any other relationship," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle."The amount of closeness — emotional, physical, spiritual, and even mental — that is in a relationship is overwhelming to handle at times." If you go slow and let yourself really fall in love, no matter what happens, you can fight off this sense of keeping yourself locked up tight.“Knowing when to take breaks and how to hold onto your own sense of self gets complicated, but without that space, we can turn on each other and start blaming each other for anything and everything,” she says.“You also may create romantic moments without waiting for your partner to do so.” It does take two, after all.“Once we feel comfortable in a relationship, we have a tendency to take everything for granted,” Salama Marine, psychologist and online dating expert for dating website Elite Singles, tells Bustle.“It could be a simple ‘I love you’ when you leave for work, or doing something thoughtful around the house — the more we advance into our relationship, the less special these small moments and kind gestures feel.” Even if you are exchanging those niceties, it can still feel stale.
“Of course, this isn't true — these people just had a Band-Aid on a carcinoma,” she says.“It's easy to want to completely rely on someone else for all of our emotional needs, but that is what creates the most problems.” If you can let go of fear, you’ll be a lot happier and healthier, in and out of your relationship."People often do not get past the point of getting to know each other, learning how to resolve conflict, and truly learning to work on their communication skills with their partner," psychologist Nicole Martinez, who is the author of eight books, including The Reality of Relationships , tells Bustle."If they do not let themselves be open, ask questions, and learn what their unique conflict management style is, they will struggle to get past the initial stages."On the other hand, if you’re down to figure out how you handle conflict and how to make that work within your relationship, you’re golden.” She says you can recreate that feeling by manifesting optimism.“By creating a more self-optimistic life, you can actually mirror or mimic the feeling of romance for yourself and with your partner.” Accept that it won’t be all romance and flowers — and enjoy the special moments you do have.“Romantic relationships bring up unhealed issues, and when these issues inevitably surface, trouble ensues,” relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships , tells Bustle.
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