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I figured we could use lunch time to get to know each other, break the ice, even do some team-building. “You know, first day and all, how about we grab a bite at that cafe across from the park? “Well, okay,” I ventured, “How about ordering up a couple pizzas?

You know, real corporate HR kind of stuff, just like in the movies. ” “Gotta work,” my boss lady said, and kept on typing.

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He nodded again, mumbled something into his rice, and kept on eating. I mean, people like snakes and spiders for pets too.

7 “Features” of Working in a Japanese Office Now, I know somebody out there likes their Japanese office job. I even dated this one girl who slept with a ferret in her bed, so whatever.

That’s fine, just wheel your bed next to your desk and somebody will prop you up so you can keep typing. But above all else, there is one priceless advantage of office work.

You gotta learn to appreciate the small things in life, is all.

All I know is that at p.m., I softly put on my coat, said a polite, “excuse me for leaving early,” quietly walked out the door, then ran around the corner to the first bar I saw and promptly got plastered as hell. I figured a large company might do the trick, with a good mix of foreigners and Japanese folks.

So color me shocked when I learned that working in a Japanese office is like that musical with all the singing, fake French people– Now, I know what you’re thinking: “That’s only two jobs,” is what you think.

That and, “Ken Seeroi, though brilliant and ruggedly handsome you may be, even you know that’s not much of a sample size.” Okay, good point, but hear me out.

As in, you’ll get a bonus once a year, bringing your hourly wage to just slightly above that of a convenience store clerk. On the plus side, you’re not in an Antarctic research station studying icicles. Depending on your workplace, you may have light, and heat. You may even have amenities like green tea, a coat rack, and a toilet seat that shoots water.

A decade from now, you’ll still be making the same amount, unless the company does poorly and your salary goes down. Now, I don’t want to make it sound like working in a Japanese office is all bad.

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  1. From smartphones and tablets to notebook PCs, webcams seem to be standard equipment these days. Did you ever stop to think that while you're staring at your screen, someone on the Internet might be staring back at you?