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Be patient, pray for good friends, and pray to be a good friend. There’s a saying that “Water seeks its own level,” and this means that people are drawn to others who are like them.So when you treat people well, you’ll attract friends who treat you well too.Then you have those who develop quicker or later than others, which breeds insecurity and instability.Early adolescents essentially still possess all of the self-absorption of a child, but without the same cuteness.The response is often something like, “Yeah, I love Isabella, I just never see her.” Nothing specific happened; it’s just that life is busy, and there isn’t enough time in the day to spend time with everyone you like. Or a group of girls may gang up on one girl because she made the leader mad.The scenarios are endless, and the lesson to be learned is that girls sometimes must learn the hard way what true friendship looks like. Friendships get put to the test, and only time will tell what the final shake-out will be. I don’t have that, but I do have some thoughts to share with your daughter if she feels insecure or worried about friendship fluctuations: In time your friendships will solidify, and you’ll know more clearly who is good for you and meant to be in your life.By embracing change rather than fearing it, and trusting it will all work out, you can keep the right attitude and look forward to what’s ahead as your relationships expand and deepen.****************************************************************************************************************************** Also, I’ve written two books for teen & tween girls designed to empower them through faith.

Treat everyone like a friend until they give you a good reason not to, and when possible, give people the benefit of the doubt.

One regret I have from high school and college is not reaching out more beyond my circle and letting God open the door to unexpected blessings. Stay loyal to your old friends and know who you count on, but keep yourself open to making fun new connections. He laughed and replied, “Kari, I was an 18-year-old boy…I probably shallow!

” At age 18 we weren’t ready for each other, but five years later we were. The same thing can happen with friendships, so keep a good rapport with everyone, even if you think you have nothing in common. The biggest friendship killers are jealousy, comparison, insecurity, and fear – fear of rejection, fear of being left out, and fear of being alone.

This is a tricky thing to navigate for girls and their moms.

While I’ve been really proud of the friend choices my daughters have made – and I feel certain that many friends, including old friends from elementary school, will be friends for life – it’s hard to see an old friendship slip away and wonder what ever happened to that cute girl you used to see all the time. A girl who your daughter thought was a friend (in my I call them 50/50 friends) does something hurtful or mean.

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In other words, friendships can change a lot in this stage of life.

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